July 7, 2008
Bust Out the Cock-O-Meter
Bust out the cock-o-meter. She's all mine now and I will do many dirty filthy and unspeakable things to her.
June 6, 2008
June 5, 2008
QotD
Richard Clarke on Olbermann referring to today's Senate Intelligence Report on how the Bush administration lied us into war:
I just don't think we can let these people back into polite society [...] and just pretend this didn't happen. [...] Someone should have to pay.
Um, can I get an AMEN?
May 20, 2008
Jan-Michael Vincent was Passed Out After a Bender
Edward dedicates his time to caring for [his 1974 VW Beetle] Vanilla and composing car-themed love songs on his keyboard. He reveals that his taste for mechanical love extends to a fascination with aircraft – and even claims to have made love to Airwolf, the high-tech helicopter from the 1980s TV series of the same name.
Flying Penis
Chess legend cum politician Garry Kasparov is interrupted during a speech.
May 15, 2008
May 14, 2008
Well Insulated
Came home today around 7. It's around, oh, 68 outside. Inside my house? 83.
Open windows do me no good when there's no breeze.
I does dawn on me, however, that since I'm not renting I could put a pool in my living room without any disclosure...
Nevermind, I know what I'm doing tomorrow.
Living room pool! Clothing optional! Any takers?
April 16, 2008
Cousin Fucking
BRAZORIA, TX (KTRK) -- A state trooper found a six foot alligator in the back seat of a burglary suspect's car early Saturday morning.
The trooper told Eyewitness News that William Johnson found the gator in the road near Angleton and loaded it up into his Buick Regal, then broke into a house in Brazoria.
DPS Trooper Steve Stanfield explained, "From my understanding, he tried to get a big screen TV out of the house. He couldn't get it in the car by himself, so he recruited a neighbor, who, when he saw the alligator, dropped the TV and said, 'Alright, I ain't got nothing to do with it.'"
Officers arrested Johnson and a game warden took the alligator.
Officers also told us on Friday, they found Johnson with a four and a half foot water moccasin that had bitten him. Johnson did not suffer ill effects from the snake bite.
In Texas. I know, I'm shocked too.
April 10, 2008
My Favorite 5 Days of the Year
Property taxes due today.
Income tax due in 5.
This searchable database over at the Chronicle really irritated me. Over 8,000 SF city & county employees are paid over $100k a year. A lot of that is overtime. A "special nurse" for the DPH was paid $117k base and $216k in overtime in 2007 netting $350,324. Cops, firefighters, DAs and bureaucrats fill out the ranks of the extremely overpaid. Why is this city insisting on making a Republican out of me? I mean, there is a fiscal shortfall and all. My uber-coiffed mayor wants a crackdown, but I just doubt it's gonna happen. Once you can afford the ultimate feast at Red Lobster every night, there's no going back without a fight.
Don't even get me started on that Olympic Torch nonsense yesterday...
March 21, 2008
Just Kill Me
Few days ago got a call from the BMW dealer. "We've got the M3 in, wanna come in for a drive?" Friend from work's interested in a 135i. Today was the day we'd get to filthily molest 'em both.
We get there and the 135i is an automatic. Well, shitfaddle. "Sport mode with paddle shifters" provides a little fun. The engine's sultry purr is seductive.
Then we get to the M3. All tingly with excitement, he runs off to get the key, and upon returning informs me I can't take the car above 3500rpm. True of all of them until 1500 miles. Odometer? 64. I can get all the way up to school zone speeds! Just pinch me!
So while I couldn't man-handle the beast, I turn to Top Gear to do that for me:
Heh. "Cock-O-Meter"
January 9, 2008
Maposaurous
Was chatting at work about picking up a portable GPS, and... Just watch the greatest ad ever made:
November 23, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
Memorable:
Wednesday, half day, goodbye lunch for another employee which shifts ever more responsibility on to me. I will miss her though.
About 4:30 that afternoon, I'm sitting in the ER having a massive panic attack. (No, the above isn't a trigger, that scene is played out like twice a week and if I'm at peace with anything, it's that.) While freaking at the ER -- feelings of going crazy, imminent death, profuse sweating, and BP so high I'm unable to articulate full sentences, I wait an hour or two as a colorful parade of street drunks go right through the VIP line, no waiting required. Cuz I "look" normal, nervous pacing and rapid short breathing aside. I keep muttering to Mason, "just 1mg of Ativan and I can turn the corner."
Nurse finally calls. "Probably panic attack, just need a mg of Ativan," I'm begging. BP machine doesn't work; the 5th take finally gets a reading. Much to her surprise, it's spectacularly high. As is my heart rate. Blood O2 low, too, from all the rapid shallow breathing. Hey, guess he's not lying! I'm asked to pee in a cup and strip down and get into a gown. I'm ushered into a room.
Space limited. Room divided by curtain, crazed ramblings coming from the other side. I try to remain as quiet as a mouse. I'm offered a Turkey recipe from behind the curtain, which I don't even acknowledge. But to her mind-altered credit, she was topical, even if delivered as "Hey, fuck hey there, you, oh my fucking god, I've got the best, [hack hack hack], best fucking Turkey recipe." I kept quiet. She was snoring less than a minute later.
See Doc. Obviously knows his stuff. Two minutes later Ativan arrives. 2 more minutes and I'm starting to relax and my BP had dropped 40%.
Given Rx for Ativan. Met with Doc no more than 1 full minute. Discharged, Mason's obviously terrified about my well being, by taking a nap. I think he's snooring.
Since tomorrow's Thanksgiving, force myself to go Turkey shopping, after a stop by the Walgreens pharmacy to stock up on Ativan.
So... Thanksgiving was nice. Relaxing. Cooking on Ativan, fun, if not especially efficient. That's my little 12-pounder to the right. Delicious!
Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!
November 10, 2007
I like Anthony Bourdain...
...and his unrelenting pursuit of all things pork, smoking, and booze. But, sweet Jesus, I'll never get this image outta my head:
November 1, 2007
Slicin'
These "perpendicular" drives out today, basically the Seagate and Hitachi's >= 750 GB, seem to be less than reliable. I swapped out my boot drives on my Quad Power Mac with two 1TB Hitachis, and put 'em in a RAID mirror to save myself the pain of doing backups. It took all of 1 day for problems to appear. I've RMA'd the drive, which had given me some issues before, but the lesson here is RAID mirrors are your friend. I've had similar odd behavior from a Seagate Barracuda 750 GB. These drives tend to run hot, and pressing them into any kind of major labor seems to wilt these precious little flowers. I'm a little annoyed that most manufactures now offer "Enterprise" class drives, supposedly giving you 24/7 reliability, which makes me wonder what the non-Enterprise drives lack. Apparently reliability. 950 GB of free space, 50% availability! Rock on.
Oh, and now that TiVo Series 3 and TiVo HD officially support eSATA drive expansions, I have one sage piece of advice that will save you a ton of money: if you build your own, absolutely purchase a drive rated for DVR use. The Seagate DB35 or Hitachi CinemaStar series. The run quite a bit more silent (good in the living room), but also produce less heat, and seek slower, which doesn't thrash the head in 24/7 DVR use.
October 31, 2007
Toothpaste Tubes
It's official: the GOP is 100% gay.
After the two men apparently had sex, Castagna allegedly left the hotel room with Curtis’ wallet, the report says. Curtis agreed to give the man $200, which he left at his hotel’s desk, only to be confronted with a demand for an additional $800, the report says.
Spokane Police Detective Tim Madsen wrote in his report that Curtis wanted to keep the whole incident quiet. At one point, Madsen told Curtis that “the toothpaste was already out of the tube.”
